Depressed.....

        I don't care if panacea solves everything, nothing can solve this problem I'm going through. I need sleep so bad, but I just can't sleep! What if I see him again? I need to expunge this malevolent creature from my mind.  He's in my head somewhere, just skulking, waiting for me to let down my guard and then BAM! He's going to attack like a ninja. So that's why I haven't been sleeping too well lately. I'm very scrupulous as to what I dream about, anything affiliated with him, and I snap myself awake. As of now, avoiding him is esteem, it's the only way I can avoid getting my heart broken again. No matter what I do, what I try, what kind of guy I'm with, it all converges to me getting my heart broken, and now it's happening in my dream. What am I going to do. All my bad luck with boys have to be finite right? I won't die sad and alone right? Every time I get close to someone and I finally trust them, they disperse and I never hear from them again. At this point, love is an attainment I don't think I'll achieve.